Confess

There's something to confessing, lots of things actually. It sheds light on the ugly things in me which hurts a lot. I don't like to be reminded of my shortcomings or confronted with new ones (which, of course, were probably always there but just never had opportunity to present themselves). Those ugly things- thoughts, feelings, actions- when confessed can even hurt people I love. I think that might be the worst part. In a moment of weakness I could fall and not only hurt myself but leave heaps of collateral damage in my wake.

That's the hard something about confession. I promise there's a beautiful something too. I know because Dan taught me.

Last night we were talking about me & my failings. I explained the situation, scattering very sincere apologies throughout. He helped me talk through it- I am not my feelings. Feelings fade, pass, they're liars. We're human. We err. It's ok. He said, "You know I'm not perfect." And that was it. He forgave me. He held me.

Now I'm exposed. He knows who I really am, what I really think. But he didn't do anything terrible and he didn't make me feel ashamed. Because he loves me. He wants to help me. He wants to go places and do things in our life together and these confessions just help him know me better. It prepares us to fight the good fight together. And we will.

Find someone you love & trust, someone who understands you. Confess. It's hard, but it's beautiful. All part of God's redemptive work, making things whole.

I love Dan & I am so grateful he loves me back.